Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Chew Your Food

INT. Grace's office at Brooklyn University - 3:25pm

Grace, wearing an outfit bought entirely at upscale second-hand stores, sits at her desk, eating a yogurt. She licks the spoon and sucks on it for awhile, deep in thought, then goes in for another spoonful. She chews her yogurt.

Sebastian, impeccably dressed, bespectacled, sits at the desk across from her.

Sebastian: Are you chewing that yogurt?

Grace: Yeah.

Sebastian: Why the hell would you do that?

Grace: I don't like yogurt.

Sebastian: What's not to like? It's good for you. You won't get osteoporosis when you're old. Sorry, I meant, even though you're old.

Grace: The consistency. I don't like the consistency.

Sebastian: You're one of those people who chews soup, aren't you.

Grace: "Those people". You make us sound like degenerates.

Sebastian: You probably already know this but it's a pet peeve of mine, people who chew soup.

Grace: Well, you don't have to sit there and watch me.

Sebastian: You've chewed that one bite 17 times. Your average number of chews is 15.5.

Grace: There is something seriously wrong with you.

Sebastian: So, you're eating it now because -

Grace(Smiling at him): Because it's good for me.

Sebastian glares at her for a moment. Then pretends to work.