Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Makin' the rent

I've started a new "day" job, hence my total lack of postings in July (not to mention my laptop dying a horrid, Ebola-Zaire-like death at the hands of some crafty computer virus). Now that I've got my computer back up and running and my emails up to date, my life has returned to a semblance of order.

The time I spend in the job is frustrating. I NEED the job, and, despite my occasional griping, I'm GRATEFUL for it but it sucks up a lot of energy that I'd rather be using to pursue acting. Trouble is, you can't pursue acting if you can't pay your rent or buy groceries (models and some actors deliberately leave the groceries out, but this is not how I roll). Here's something I'm coming to terms with: After a long day of work, if you get home and say 'Alrighty, I'm ready to start the other job, even though it doesn't pay [yet]', you know you're following your passion and you love what you do. At least, that's part of what keeps me going...so far.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

We’ll have my People call your People…

I’m embarrassed that I’m embarrassed to promote my own work. It’s not a helpful trait in an actor, really, and it’s taken me a long time to sort out how to self-promote without shame. Admitting that I am an actor, handing someone my card, informing folks about the projects I’m working on—for some reason, the salesmanship of acting sticks in my throat.

Before coming to LA, I made sure that I could, at least, feel comfortable with the basics of self-promotion. I have my little business cards, my website, etc. I let folks know I’m an actor, although, for some reason, I still pause about this as though I’m ashamed of myself for not having invested time in a more lucrative or stable profession. Where I really start to falter are the instances when I want to work with someone and I don’t know how to breach the subject. Loosing site of my own artistic and creative goals, I flounder in front of casting directors and sometimes fellow actors, feeling as though I have nothing to offer them. In some cases, I’m more likely to promote someone else’s work than my own but examining my motives for that seemed like a step in the right direction.

As a quick sidebar, I’m not seeking thanks or praise when I say I tout other people’s work instead of my own. Sometimes I’m focusing on someone's work in order to feel accepted, or that I’m “in the know” or, during especially bad cases of shyness, to show that I’m not a total freak and I do have friends who are (mercifully) cooler than me. When I find myself extrapolating on the virtues of some else’s project, I’m also acknowledging their forward momentum. I’m showing respect for their perseverance, their talent and often their success. There’s a tricky word – success. I’m afraid of trying and failing which is part of why I point to the successes of others in order to glean some part of that triumph, as though a little bit of recognition rubs off on me each time I describe the Dove commercial my friend was in, or the guy from my acting class who’s in Southland (Go Alex Alessandro Garcia!).

It’s time to take responsibility for potential success. Allowing for failure is necessary because it means you’re trying, throwing yourself out there and giving yourself the chance to succeed, even if it is through trial and error. Even if I leave L.A. without having sparked a career, I want to feel good about learning from my time here. Maybe I’ll learn how to fail successfully—one can only hope.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Keep Calm and Carry On

Motivation can be insanely difficult, especially if you have that fear of rejection/success syndrome going on. For most of us, doing it for the fame doesn’t work and the money is sporadic, at best (we’ve discussed that). Imagination and creativity can prod us to action, but it’s difficult to maintain momentum when rejection is present at all times. Psychological, social and physical obstacles loom – or can be created by the mind – when pursuing a career in the arts.

Creating a reasonable plan, step by step, can be the best solution to a lack of motivation or focus. You have to keep in mind that only actions over which you have control can be fixed points on your time line (i.e. I will create a website for myself in the next month or I will send out those postcards in two weeks). The minute you start including items like “Get an Agent” or “Join SAG”, you have to remember you have thrown yourself at the mercy of the elements. Being a strong believer in the mantra that “you make your own luck”, hard work should be rewarded with concrete results. In acting, it’s not; unless you have a natural gift for networking (I, sadly, do not), it may take more time than expected to get your foot firmly wedged in the door. Be patient and keep working tenaciously.

Another way to build motivation is to keep things in a positive perspective. This is not to say that you should go comparing yourself and your career to Kate Winslet’s or Hugh Jackman’s. Take a look at where you started your career and where you are now. Take into account how much work you’ve done; note the level of self-discipline (if applicable), the commitment and sacrifice expended on career. If you feel good about what you’ve done and can honestly say, with a clear conscience, that you have worked hard and continue to do so, then you are the envy of many an artistic temperament. Hang in there. The odds will eventually be in your favor.

Whatever you choose to do to motivate yourself, stay positive, keep focused and take care of yourself.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Nice work if you can get it...

How do we make a living as actors? As far as I'm concerned, the ideal job for an actor is, as I mentioned earlier, becoming a working actor. But, for those of us still slogging it out in the trenches, what do we do to make ends meet?

A full-time job is out of the question if you want to be a professional actor. All your time and energy is sucked dry, trying to make your boss happy while scuttling out to rehearsals in the evenings. I've had a 9-5 and been in shows before and it's very tough. The rehearsals are where you really want to be but the job is what you need to keep to get by. Unless, by some miracle, you find a FT job that allows you completely flexible hours, you can't make it to the auditions for professional, well-paid work because you're stuck in the office.

Working a part-time job isn't bad. Of course, then you're practically a parody of yourself, being a waiter and an actor or (if you're lucky) an actor by day, bar tender by night.

As far as I can gauge it, the best way to make a living as an actor is to have a marketable skill outside of acting; a skill that will pay well and one in which you can make your own hours. Being a Spanish tutor for private schools in a wealthy 'hood, for example, would be perfect in LA. A web designer would be a good one, too. Perhaps a stylist? Use your imagination. (I'm certainly open to suggestions.)

At this point, I'd just like to find something that pays reliably. It certainly takes the edge off, taking you out of the realm of "needy actor" and placing you firmly in the "self reliant actor" category. Who knows, maybe finding the right paying work, outside of acting, might actually enrich your craft. Stranger things have happened.

Happy Hunting.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Why pursue acting?

Why, in these precarious economic times, would anyone in their right mind pursue acting? Why sacrifice time with loved ones, a decent income, the perks of the pre-established corporate ladder and a modicum of dignity pursuing an elusive craft in which nothing is guaranteed? Some will insist that they can do no other job, they MUST act, dance, sing, or paint; there is no choice in the matter.

Yet doubt creeps in, even for the most passionate. I’m sure each actor has his or her reasons, demons and sirens that clamor for her to stick with it. I pursue acting because I love people. I have a need to tell stories. Those who know me personally will attest to my tiresome habit of shoe-horning the most miniscule events in my daily life into neat bundles of vignettes. I’m working on this, cutting down lengthy phone messages and attempting to be as considerate of other people’s time as possible. “Hi Babe, it’s me. I’m walking home from work and passed this nerdy guy on a motorcycle and…sorry. Give me a call when you get this. Bye!” What should normally be a twenty second message can expand until the beep cuts me off, if I’m not careful. Thank God my friends are good, patient people.

Yes, masochism factors into it, the pursuit of acting, I mean. I’m cultivating a positive outlook on life, so I can safely say I’m in the process of pushing self-loathing out of the moving car and into oncoming traffic. Unfortunately, I never want to get rid of any emotion or trait completely, seeing that they’ll all be useful at some point or another for one of the characters; much like the silly little stories and details. For now, then, I’ll keep all that stuff in the trunk.

Fame is a reason that often comes up. I’m not going to lie, it would be trippy to become famous but it is not the goal. In an ideal world, I would become a “working actor.” I’d have commercials to pay the bills, TV co-star roles and eventually supporting roles in Indie films at Sun Dance. There’d be interviews with online Entertainment shows and the occasional Red Carpet opening. Most importantly, there would be scripts. Oh yes, scripts waiting for me and an Agent to help me sort through them... Opportunities made through work. Work begetting work. I’d like to get paid for the work; paid enough to live on. That’s the goal.